Wade "Jefferson" Belak is movin on up!

Big news hit the media today with a resounding "THANK FUCK" as Wade Belak was traded from the lowful, awful, Florida Panthers (15th aka last in the East), to the playoff-contending (8th in the West) Nashville Predators. Although he couldn't be reached for comment, we can only assume he is completely stoked to be joining fellow Saskatoon product Dan Ellis in Nashville. For the sake of the story, here's what we think we would talk about if he came on MSN right now:

(It should be noted here that Toppings and I don't have a joint msn, just in case any jackasses were planning on commenting. "-Cletus from The Simpsons voice-darharhar, like sure yuz gots da same dang NSM thinger, queers." Use your imagination)

Belakinator (his msn name, most likely): Hey guys, guess what happened?
Prairie Puck: We heard you got traded. How do you feel about it?
Belakinator: Well guys, it feels pretty good. It's fun to walk around Florida in shorts all the time, but it just doesn't feel like hockey down there. The only outdoor rinks they have are roller hockey rinks, and you know what they say about roller blading.
PP: Do. We. Ever.
Belakinator: I'm excited to be heading slightly north though. It'll be nice to play for a team that doesn't suck balls. It'll be fun to play with Dan Ellis too. We all know Saskatcewan people are awesome, so that'll be nice.
PP: That's great. Oh Wade, did you get that care package we sent you?
Belakinator: Ya, I donated it to charity. I hope you don't mind.
PP: We don't mind at all. We are both well known for our kind and giving natures, especially during the holiday season. I hope you didn't tell everyone it was from us. We don't do it for the publicity. We just feel we have so much to give.
Belakinator: Don't worry guys, I didn't even deliver it myself. I have a poor family one hundred seventy dollars to deliver it for me. Charity is awesome!
PP: We couldn't agree more. Congrats on the trade, we'll keep an eye out for you. Take care Mr. Belak!
Belakinator: Thanks guys. Like a girl with a bra, I appreciate the support.
It would probably go something like that. On a personal note, it would be nice to get Edmonton native Jay Bouwmeester out of there too. But that's another story for another day. For now, let's just be happy that Wade Belak is moving on up.
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